Single Motherhood and Mini-Tornados

My daughter is 19 months old...and very willful...already. I don't think it is a phase, but a part of her personality, which frankly...scares me out of my wits. I'm a pretty passive, mellow (albeit chatty and exuberant at times) kinda gal and have always been intimidated by the more assertive personalities. I'm less intimidated now, but don't have a CLUE how to mentor and guide my daughter as she blossoms into who she is. What I know now is that I need to be consistent and assertive and do not allow her to wear the pants. I'm the mama and I'm the boss. What I wonder is which battles to fight and which ones to let go. She defies almost everything I tell her now. If I discipline her EVERY SINGLE TIME I ask/tell her not to do something...it feels aweful. Some days are really bad days...because it's a fight all day long. And some days she'll be as sweet as can be and I pray that she gives me more of these days. They are easy. Raising children is not easy. Raising children alone is really really not easy.

I have a guy friend who lives next door to me and she was going through a phase of hitting me/slapping at me. This behavior is absolutely not acceptable and I've tried everything I could before having to pop her on her bum to get her attention. My guy friend witnessed it one day and in his big deep manly voice told her 'No Hitting'. Just like that. She ducked with her tail between her legs and got all weepy. Is that all it takes? A man's voice? He's hired. She's only done it one time since then, I think.

There's a reason I was handed single motherhood. Of course I will never know what 'lessons' I was signed up to learn...there are a bazillion that I've learned already...but MAN...this is hard work! Lord have mercy! I keep hearing more and more that I need to make sure to establish my authority now because if she reaches 4 or 5 and I don't have a handle on her, then she will run my life. I'm not afraid to discipline her. I'm not one of those that is afraid of spanking (I was never traumatized by a spanking while growing up - The Lord put the cushion there for a reason, I think.), but its just aweful having to be the ONLY one doing any disciplining. Single parenthood is just not fair.

And have I mentioned how incredibly busy my little cherubim is? She goes and goes and goes and goes. She is a mini tornado. If I had half her energy, oh the things I could accomplish! I've left her with a neighbor for a couple of hours a couple of times and when I pick her up, just after two hours, my neighbor's hair is all dishevled and she's exhausted...and she asks me how in the WORLD do I do it? The baby never stops! The only time she is still is when she is sleeping. And praise the Lord its the only fight I don't have to have, is putting her to bed. When she's tired, she goes right down. But she doesn't wind down at all. She will spin out until she hits the wall (when I lay her down) and then she passes out. But she won't mellow out at all.

So, with little mini tornado, you can imagine what my house looks like. I don't know why I bother cleaning. I suppose its a good thing I don't have OCD. I might really lose my mind. The neighbor kids came over the other day and cleaned her room for me. How sweet of them. :) I didn't even ask. It was in the former state 5 minutes after they left, though. Probably should have taken a picture of it.