My Soul aches. The profound ache of loss.
When I was pregnant, while I loved it, I couldn't wait for it to be over. To deliver this new beginning...this wonder. After I delivered her, of course the tum that so bulbously pronounced itself, was gone. I would always place my right hand on the side of my tum to feel her kicking. She was still in there; alive and well and making her presence ever known. Once I delivered her, though, out of habit, I placed my hand on my side and I suddenly missed being pregnant. It took me a week to get over placing my hand on my tum. It was gone; she was gone. As uncomfortable as it was, I got used to her being in there. And now I have to get used to her in a different perspective...out here. Her face has been realized. Now life has a completely new meaning.
I'm feeling this way right now...that I have been delivered of some things that have become uncomfortable. Present, but hidden. Now I am peering into the face of thyself. Now life, will have a completely new meaning. As a child is born into this loud and bright world, likely scared out of their wits, they have no other option than to trust the hands that hold them.
Matt 18:3-4
And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
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I remember this feeling! It was sort of a shock! And the whole "ever after" feeling with this little being (or beings, once I had the second one!)But one thing was certain...I was miserable being preggers so having them both born felt pretty good not carrying them inside, being on bedrest, being sick, achy, etc.
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