Abiding in Him

I took a trip to the beach this past weekend. In Oregon it's seems a rarity to find sunshine at the beach. It's generally cloudy, usually raining, and windy. This weekend, I didn't care. I go to the beach, to breathe, regardless of the weather. There's something so awesome about the ocean that puts my place into perspective...I'm very tiny, and the Creator of such an expanse of water is so mighty and powerful and great. If He can tame the oceans, why not allow Him to tame the little waves of my life? It overwhelms me sometimes.

Saturday turned out to be the most perfect beach day one could ask for. It was in the low 70s, sunshiny, and just a hint of a gentle breeze. I am so grateful.

Any time I go to the beach, I find peace and comfort and the sound of the crashing waves are the arms of God, embracing me and my stay there. I make it a point to listen... Life, in all its craziness, rushing here and there, juggling baby and laundry and groceries and housekeeping, not to mention working and daycare, and church and activities and fellowship, and, and, and...and just making it through the day...it's hard to stop long enough to listen or reflect. By the end of the day, I hit the wall and slide down in a lump of exhausted goo. I try to find time in the daily grind to capture a glimpse of what He might have to say for me that day. I don't always hear Him. So I go to the beach, to breath; and to hear what He might have to say. Purposeful stillness.

I don't get these opportunities very often, but when I do, they are profound. This trip was no exception.

I've been reading a book by John Eldredge called 'Walking with God'. It captures a year from the journal of John Eldredge and how God evidences himself along the way. He mentions over and over again the whispers of God's voice in his life. I began to wonder how many times God has whispered to me and I just don't or didn't hear Him; or ignored Him. On my drive to the beach, I endeavored to clear my mind and allow my spirit/conscience to open up and receive whatever it is He might have for me. I invited Him to speak into my life and I promised to pay attention. I had a piece of paper and a pen handy to jot down whatever I heard.

Generally when we are in the truck, my Little Miss makes it known how incredibly dissatisfied she is with her carseat. I prefer short distance drives because of this, as my nerves become very short and frayed when such a tiny air space has been invaded by the whales of my little princess... I prepared myself for the 2 1/2 hour journey with treats and beverages and additional toys to help appease the screeches. Magically, it seems, during this trip she played contently with the toys I have strapped to the back of the seat in front of her. She sang and talked to me. She practiced inunciating her new words and repeated them over and over again. A-pp-o joosh. A-pp-o joosh. A-pp-o joosh. I only had to pull over once because she dropped her tippy cup out of my arms reach. It was a glorious ride, to say the least.

Somewhere about half way there, I heard Him.

Abide in Me.

I read the Bible, though admittedly, not as much as I should. It's so important to be in the Word on a regular basis in order to combat the trickery of the enemy. If we know the Truth, the enemy loses every time. He finds his way in to the weak and unsure spaces that have not been cleared by the Words of Truth, carefully written and provided for us; for our safety and security.

I know there is scripture that speaks of abiding in Him. I've never really thought about it...what does it mean? I have a very vague idea, but the depth of the definition, I have no idea.

I jot it down on the paper I have handy and consider it during the rest of the journey. A giddy anticipation waves over me as I anxiously await the evening to come together and wear down so that I am able to look it up and start studying it. What is the message that He has for me?

I mentioned the enemy finding the weak and unsure places. He doesn't want us drawing nearer to God and the Truth. He will use whatever means necessary to sabotage our gaining strength. He likes us weak. Earlier in the day an email dialogue had started with a friend of mine. By the time I got to the beach and put the punkin' down for bed, I was ready to start my journey of discovery into what 'Abiding in Him' meant. I checked my email first, and became distracted in that email. I didn't get to Abiding in Him.

By morning, my mind was a whirlwind of confusion that was sourced in that dialogue. I knew immediately, however, that it was a ploy from the enemy. You will know and recognize him by the fruit... Distraction, confusion, uneasiness...these are not of God. I quickly prayed against the schemes of the enemy and set the distractions and discomfort at the cross. I refuse to carry it. My mission this trip is to spend some quality time with God. You ever go on a vacation or a trip with a friend who drags you down because they don't want to do this or its too hot or they're dissatisfied with that? Kinda sucks the life out of the vacation, if you let it. The greatness of our will is that we can choose...we can choose to wallow in the grumps or we can choose to set them aside and enjoy ourselves in spite of it. On this day, I chose not to be consumed by the tricks of the enemy. Once I set them aside and began to focus on why I was there, the confusion dissipated. While being 'in control' is not something we should strive to do, but actually release 'control' to the authority who TRULY has control...it is amazing how much 'control' we do have. Our will can wreck us or it can save us... We have 'control' over how obedient we choose to be. Good Stuff.

The next morning we were up at the crack of dawn, enjoying each other and the sounds of seagulls; sharing bananas and toast and a-pp-o joosh. I've been living with various friends for the past ten months and have little personal space, so this is truly a treasured time with my daughter. It's only she and I and I love it. We will have our own space again very soon, but for now, she and I time is limited and fleeting. This by itself is a God moment.

Once she was down for her morning nap, I was able to begin searching and listening. One of the multitude of amazing things about God is that He is patient. He waits. He knows the many things that hit us from all directions on any given day. He patiently waits for us to be with Him. If only we could acquire this level of patience with the people and things of this life... I find anxiety starts to invade my spirit when I begin the ponderings and racing thoughts of doing this or that on time and getting this or that in this time, and wondering what is going to happen next and when will I realize this or see that or find 'something'...whatever that something may be that we are seeking at any given moment. Peace rests in my soul when I just 'go with the flow'. Travelling is like this. I start the trip long before the trip ever starts. It starts when I leave my place. I leave early in case there is traffic. I don't want to start a relaxing trip being frustrated because I'm stuck in traffic and might be late. I get to the airport early to enjoy people watching. I relax. I don't rush. I take whatever comes, as it arrives. I don't anticipate anything, so I'm not surprised when things like flight delays and then missed flights and mechanical delays and then traffic delays and delay after delay after delay... A trip I took a few years ago had me back 16 hours later than anticipated. If I'd have not mentally prepared for anything happening, I might have been a bit agitated. But I knew eventually I would make it home. I was nicer just taking advantage of the 'down' time.

Why is it different when we WANT something? We want something and we make plans for that something and we get angry when it doesn't pan out the way we'd anticipated. We lose so much of the moment by being frustrated and angry that it didn't come to us the way WE wanted it to. Isn't that the point God is trying to make with us? If we just relax through the process, He will bring it to us the way that HE knows is the best way. And if we're able to relax through it, we might find surprising treats along the way. We will eventually get there. It's certain. Where is it written...Ask anything in My name and it will be given to you. I once heard an analogy that really sticks with me, especially when I find myself getting impatient... We can drive coast to coast in the dark, with only a 50 foot visibility from our headlights...it's all we need to get where we need to go. Why do we think we need a light to shine on the destination before we arrive?

So, what does it mean to Abide in Him? What did I find? I found that all of this...the journey...is the 'end' that He has for us. The destination is not the end. The journey. Right now. Today. This very moment. Walk with Him. Abide in Him.