Ponderings on Singleness

I wonder...

There's always been this question in my mind about whether or not more people are supposed to be called into singleness, but don't 'hear' it. I wonder if they don't hear it because the things in this life that consume them, manifest in their spirits as a gaping hole, and they want or feel they need to fill the hole with someone/something tangible. Particularly for those of us who have had more life than we'd prefer to have; who have a bazillion things to sort through; who keep peeling away the layers of the onion to reveal more and more what our heart truly desires... But some people have so many layers and some rotten spots that don't want to be touched because they are gross and stinky, so they go around them...

What has prompted my wondering about this is the fact that those of us who still are single...have obviously been called into singleness, at least for a time. It's obvious simply because of where we are and our 'status'. And it has occurred to me as a reflection of recent events, that perhaps *I* have been called to singleness...potentially indefinitely. There are parts of me that still yearn for companionship, but you know...the other day I was overwhelmed a little bit by this thing called companionship, and was contemplating a certain someone and his place in my life. I prayed about it, was instantly filled with the presence of the Lord and was instantly satisfied. Has he called me to draw near to Him as my soul source of companionship? Is worldly companionship something he is asking me to sacrifice for Him? If I allow myself to think about it for very long, I start feeling a little sad...because sacrificing means giving up something that has been attached to us. And the removal of something attached is never an easy procedure. (I once read a bumper sticker that said 'Attachment creates suffering', and it pierced me to my soul.)

And so...thinking about attachment...how many things keep us attached to the world? How many things do we not even realize have us attached?

And then... considering becoming attached again, if the Lord so wills it... how completely out of our hands the entire process is. And how many people really see or understand this? Today, I feel very much like an island...not that I have reached some superior knowledge, but there aren't many who can understand the perspective that has rested so peacefully in my spirit about this process. There is absolutely nothing we can do to ensure our placement with a companion, except follow Jesus. He is it; the all; the only One. And if He allows it (attachment to a companion), then we can take it. In the mean time, we are called to just abide in Him, one day at a time, without expectation.

Expecation is another thing... it causes suffering.

This devotional from My Utmost for His Highest is very good and hits the nail on the head.

God’s Purpose or Mine?He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . —Mark 6:45
We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see "Him walking on the sea" ( Mark 6:49 ). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

I'm so inspired by the depth of spiritual connection that Oswald Chambers has...I have often wondered how someone can understand this deeply and yet still abide in the world without so much resistance. I suppose I still have this expectation that I should act a certain way or be a certain way. I still am attached to the expectation that others have of me. But the Lord doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called...and He will unfold the path He would have for me...with or without my permission or expectation, or others' for that matter. So I should just get out of the way and allow Him to work in me the way He has predestined for me... But you know...Jesus did it. And there was resistance. And there was suffering. So the expectation that there will not be suffering, will have to be detached...

Have you ever felt like there isn't anybody available who understands where you are? I suppose of all the things that I struggle with, this is probably the greatest. The Lord understands. But the Lord doesn't allow the immediate answer that we so desire all the time...So immediate gratification also produces suffering...

Where is absolute calm and contentment? Is it even possible in the world? Did Oswald have absolute contentment? Does anybody on this side of eternity?