Instruction

And here it is folks... : )




I reckon I outta fill these shoes!
WOO HOO! : )
I think I'll start...today!

Life, in themes

I'm sensing a theme in my life these days...or maybe its a subtle hint...or not so subtle message.

It's about running...

I find this fabulous blog about running...or mostly about what goes on in the brain pan while running and I find myself really inspired (on so many levels) .... Then my friend says she and some others will be running/trotting/walking the Portland Marathon and wonder if it is something I'd like to do with them. (I have decided to give it a shot) Then... I've been searching for a job for MONTHS now and I started a job yesterday for the leading shoe and sports inspired company in the country...in Running Apparel. I'm surrounded by shoes and runners and inspiration EVERY DAY now!

I think there's something going on here... : )

Perhaps...I'm going to become a runner... Running for my life! : )

Also...the other day I heard a message somewhere...I can't remember where...but it was about our thoughts. We get ourselves so wrapped up in our thoughts and about the negatives of things that we talk ourselves out of so much before we ever even give it a chance. For instance...I'm not a runner today. My legs hurt when I run. I've convinced myself that I'm just not a runner so I'm not going to run. My lungs hurt, my body hurts, my legs hurt when I run. My mind is consumed with these negative things. Of course its painful when I run!

BUT...if I tipped the scale to the other side of things, imagine how much I could accomplish...if I would just talk myself INTO things as much as I talk myself OUT of things. I like running. I love running. I feel GOOD when I run... What inspiration will come when I get myself out there and start...running? I can't wait to find out! (got a few logistical things to work out and then I'm gonna START!)

Phillipians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.

No thought will rest in my mind, unless it is positive. I'm going to start running. And I'm not just going to like it, I'm going to love it. And it is going to be GREAT!!! : )

This is your life...

I'm listening to Air1 radio station and the song 'This is Your Life' by Switchfoot just came on. It occurred to me in the fleetingest of moments as I heard the chorus ('This is your life. Are you who you want to be....'), that I am who I want to be. I am satisfied completely.

I reflect on my former life prior to becoming a Christian and it seems every single day was a struggle. There just wasn't ANYTHING to look forward to but this seemingly never ending dismal existence. UGH... I feel the weight of it as I ponder prior days. I remember a time when I would essentially 'fake' who I really was (I didn't really know who she was to begin with, so my entire existence was pretty fake) by fibbing and telling little white lies. I wanted everyone to accept me so I'd create a dialogue that I felt would fit the individual I was speaking with. I was starving for acceptance. I was afraid to tell the truth because I was afraid people wouldn't like me. I'm not sure what there was NOT to like to begin with...but somewhere along life's journey I lost my sense of worth.

It makes me sad to know that there are so many people out there today who feel this way...they have no hope and no reason. They just exist, placing all their hope in a bucket with a hole in it, that something exciting will happen and they will feel fulfilled; some resemblence of joy, if only for a moment. Fleeting, empty, joy.

I posted earlier about how my cup runs over. Life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I have a hope that is complete...there is no hole that will empty my bucket because my Hope is in Him. I have purpose and meaning and I have found who I am. I don't have to fib or tell white lies anymore to feel accepted (the irony is that I never felt accepted no matter what I said, whether truth or lie) or to have people like me or even love me. I can be real and have integrity and people I think actually love me more. It's amazing... I can't really even begin to articulate how full I feel. Abundance...not in material things, but the abundance comes from within. I could never go back. There's nothing there (the world) that appeals to my senses any longer.

Am I who I want to be? Absolutely. There's no greater knowledge than this...

One Step at a Time

I receive a daily inspiration from a gentleman named Jeff... I'll tell you more about him in a minute...first read today's entry...

“A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”

- Confucius

I lament how many times I have seen people repeatedly postpone starting a project, claiming that they are simply gathering their ducks in a row. Many of these people refuse to answer the starting bell so many times that they become tone deaf and after a while don’t even hear it anymore. Even more disturbing is the fact that often times that person has been me.

What makes us paralyzed when facing an important project, one that is perhaps even the major objective of our lives? For some it is a fear of failure, for others, paradoxically, a fear of success. I think the biggest reason, however, is that within our busy lives, digging into a behemoth of a goal just looks like too daunting a task this week, maybe next week it will look smaller. Does it ever get smaller? No, usually it begins to grow in weight on our shoulders as we realize that we have done nothing toward our major objective. If this keeps up long enough, we either give up the goal, or we shove it to the back of our minds where it won’t bother us and we kid ourselves that we will get to it soon.

What can we do to stop putting off the most important thing we must do? The short answer is to dive in and merely get some momentum going. You might not know what the hell you are doing, but you will at least be in the water dog paddling until you figure out how to swim. If we don’t, we are likely to stand at the edge of the pool forever. Knowing that this project is not going to get done by next week or even next month, break the project down into small, bite size pieces and dive in. You might need to wander around in the dark for a while until you get your bearings, but at least you’ll be wandering. Once you are on the journey, you’ll get your compass straight, and those baby steps will soon start adding up. You’ll get some confidence and momentum going, and those monstrous thousand leagues will begin shrinking.

Jeff Young
www.friendsofjeff.com

It is so easy for me to be overwhelmed by the things that are placed before me in life. My creative mind wants to take giant leaps and bounds to the end product or endeavor and then backpedal to the place I should begin. It's quite the effort to train or re-train my mind to find focus and then begin to channel my energies. There are a lot of things that go undone because I lose my focus and energy because I get lost 'out there' somewhere in the infinite possibilities. I tend to be a procrastinator because of this. The same truth continues to find me, though...everything gets accomplished...one baby step at a time. And to start, I must get up out of my chair and BEGIN; get out of my mind and move my body.

Right now there are quite a few things that are lined up that I feel a bit overwhelmed by...

My Photoshop has been down for months and I finally got it back online this weekend. I'm very excited about this, but was immediately overwhelmed by the volume of pictures I will need to edit. And so I will start...one picture at a time.

I'm going to walk a marathon in October. I was very excited about this feat...this endeavor I'd never considered before. There's a lot more to it for me than just saying that I've walked a marathon...it holds in it some freedoms for me... but anyway, I'm struggling with it because I took a walk the other day and I'm walking a 20 minute mile (just a teensie bit out of shape!). The group I will be walking with hopes to walk it in 6 hours...which means I must shave 5 minutes off my mile! THIS IS HUGE! But the only way I'm going to wittle down the HUGE...is one day/one walk at a time. In time my endurance will increase and I can look a 15 minute mile in the face without blinking. And I'll successfully walk a 26 mile marathon in October...right before my 35th b-day, too. It will be an extra grand celebration for me. :) One walk at a time...

I have had the desire to write a book for many years. I believe with this, there will also be some freedoms found for me, but a book is only realized one page at a time... I've been writing and rambling for a while, but without much focus or direction. As time ensues, I'm given nuggets here and there that help me gain my focus. I don't have a deadline set for writing this book. I have a thousand ideas, but I believe in time, with my little collection of nuggets over time, will produce some good fruits. The secret...is writing...one day at a time. One page at a time...

Patience and perseverence... are my words for the day. : )

So...please visit http://www.friendsofjeff.com/ and sign up for his inspirational email. Read about him on his website...you will truly be inspired. He lives 24 years after a diagnosis that gave him 3-5 years to live...a true testament to will being greater than circumstances. Good stuff!

MY Cup, Runneth Over

I was reading an article today about a gal who realized what a pessimist she had become. When she realized how dismal her outlook on everything had become, she committed to viewing the world from a glass half full perspective.

I wonder where this analogy came from? It had to come from somewhere in 'the world'...because as a Christian, my cup runneth over. There's nothing empty or lacking and its nice to say this and actually mean it. I feel it. Some days I am completely bubbled over. Some days I'm a little blue, but my cup is still full.

Freedom...

...Is only a perspective away.

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.
— Anonymous

Random Running Thinking Thoughts

I am so inspired!

In a search for a little bit more of myself, I came across this blog (Running is Mental) and found some really good soul food. Along the way, I have discovered a great deal more than I had anticipated.

Fist of all, I'm a deep thinker, and have always been, but it seems I've never really accepted that of myself. I thought that I had, but it has actually manifested itself in my inability to truly feel connected with people because... if I don't accept it about myself, why would I think others would accept it of me? So I'm always on guard, wondering what people are thinking; if they think I talk to much or think too much or think too deeply. There are far greater amount of people I interact with in my life who have not quite 'got' the depth of my understanding and have verbalized that I think too much, that I take life too seriously, that I philisophize too much, that I will make myself crazy by thinking so much...(I guess its mostly family that 'points' at it.) And so I've always thought that it was, or *I* was always somehow 'wrong' in my thinking.

As I become more and more acquainted with my spiritual side, I realize that my thinking is truly a gift. There's nothing 'wrong' with the way that I think; perhaps the only thing I could adjust a little is measuring accurately who and how I discuss certain matters with certain people...

When I stumbled upon this blog (Running is Mental), it occurred to me that I could channel my own thinking and ponderings of life, instead of keeping them caged up inside my cranium. I was suddenly inspired to become a runner! And to allow the thinking to commence, without reservation! :)

I was reading some other blogs that the owner of this blog subscribes to, and I'm enlightened once again, that there are OTHER thinkers out there! Not that I think I'm the only thinker out there... but how wonderful the nuggets of wisdom that are shared out here in blogger cyber-space!

I read a posting about who we are and if we are in a different place than we had ever anticipated...are we who we set out to be? One blogger didn't ever anticipate being a jogger, and resisting the title along her journey to accepting that she was, in fact, a jogger. I'm there, now...I'm a thinker, but am just now starting to realize its okay for me to hold that 'title'. It is me; who I am. I don't live on the surface...I dive deep to the core; the source; the n'th degree of every thought or idea that could be presented. I don't know why...I just do; it is me.

Why do we resist so much, who we are? Why are others' opinions and expectations allowed to hold us hostage from our true potential? How many of us are so chained to who we 'think' we should be that we fail to truly thrive and blossom? Why are we so starved for affirmation, that we need to have people accept us? Where in this life did we lose ourselves and become the product of everyone else's expectations?

After pondering this, and having the initial excitement to go out and get me a pair of running shoes...I became increasingly more deflated with the whole idea. Running is such...work. It hurts, mostly. Specifically for me, I walked on my tippy toes since I was a little bitty, so the tendons and muscles in the back of my legs are shortened and cramp up pretty badly when I attempt running; trotting; jogging, in any way. So its always been an effort to think about doing it. I divorced myself of the idea that I'd ever be a runner because it would just take too much work; so I won't do it. Now I'm inspired by a different prespective...that I could be a runner, but consciously think...about thinking. Allowing myself the freedom to do that.

Of course from here, there are a multitude of other perspectives to consider. I don't have to become a runner in order to think. I can think when I drive; shop; walk; compute, whatever. But I COULD be a runner...and start out slow...condition myself to take it in one day at a time...one moment at a time...build up endurance...and eventually I might call myself a thinking runner. :)

But with anything in this life, it takes time to grow into it; to acclimate; to work up to full potential. So many things are disregarded and set aside and just plain left alone without a second thought because its going to be too hard, and it might hurt. We look at the end, at what it would look like 'out there', and the process to getting there is too difficult so we just don't do it. How many potential runners are sitting on the couch? How many marriages failed because it was too much work? How many truly inspired musicians only hear the music in their head, but don't bridge the gap to composition?

We are given one breath, one moment, on day at a time. In this moment, I will commit to being satisfied with who I am, today...regardless of expectations of others...or even the unrealistic expecatations I have of myself. I'm a thinker, and I'm going to think, and in the process of allowing myself the freedom to think of the things I think, I'll be working on articulating my thoughts... like learning how to run, I likely won't have it all figured out and focused and channeled over night...but every day I'll be more clarified and clear and confident in my thinking abilities. I want to write a book. But I must write it one word, one page at a time.